NVCR HOROSCOPE READING

Semi-Frequent updates, Check in often. (The Stars Say So.)

ARIES

Is the status quo of your marriage broken or does your loved one have a new partner? If you are in a situation where you are seeking marriage counseling? Call the 9-1-1, For a $0 toll on your first marriage counseling session, call 9-1-1.

TAURUS

Are you keeping yourself in check by knowing what is good for you? Are you keeping yourself in check by knowing what is good for you? Are you keeping your expectations in check by calling on your creator? Are you keeping your expectations in check by calling on your creator? The Bible says the earth is good, the earth is good, the earth is GOOD.

GEMINI

If there's some sort of toxic waste spill, make sure it gets cleaned up. You don't want any of that in your lunch, right?

CANCER

Right now you're experiencing something similar to a low blood sugar level.

LEO

Have some lunch. A sandwich? A foot long sub? A two foot long sub? A four foot long sub? The sky's the limit, get a pizza too, maybe. Hmmmm... It seems like the the stars are hungry today.

VIRGO

Here's the keys to my house, go fuck my wife. Whatever, man.

LIBRA

Is it warm in there? Wet? Heat up the house, press down a few palms. Turn up a cold knob, maybe an open vent? It'll only take you five minutes, seriously. Get over it.

SCORPIO

Not even fully awake.

SAGITTARIUS

Nothing more glamorous than wearing boxer briefs, socks or tight breeches, underwear too? Have a casual Friday at work!

CAPRICORN

Does your new puppy get angry when the storms start coming? Maybe you should buy a shock collar or something. Goodness. Get that thing under control, you.

AQUARIUS

Don't fall asleep in important meetings, please consider to some strategies. Like staying awake.

PISCES

Your role in this case really depends on you acting one way. That's right, all eyes are on you, buddy.